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In the latest episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, we had a heartfelt and enlightening discussion with Kevin Lavelle, co-founder and CEO of Harbor. Kevin shared his experiences and reflections on raising two healthy children—an 8-year-old son and a 6-year-old daughter—while managing the demands of a thriving career.
Kevin emphasized the importance of being present for his children despite the time constraints of being an entrepreneur. He has found fulfillment in volunteering as a soccer coach for his son and accompanying his daughter to gymnastics. His philosophy of being “appropriately selfish” underscored the necessity of self-care to be effective in caring for one’s family.
The Fleeting Nature of Childhood
Both Kevin and our host, Dr. Christopher Lewis, resonate on how quickly time passes with young children. Recounting poignant moments like the birth of his son and profound moments in his entrepreneurial journey, Kevin appreciated the urgency of cherishing every moment with family. He shared a personal anecdote about working on a term sheet in the delivery room, highlighting the blend of work and personal life that many modern parents experience.
This understanding deepened after a personal loss—his wife’s mother—which reinforced the irreplaceable value of family time. Dr. Lewis echoed this sentiment, encouraging fathers to prioritize building strong relationships with their children over work commitments.
Challenges of Modern Parenting
Kevin tackled the complex challenge of raising respectful and capable children in today’s world. He discussed the necessity of discipline, the influence of external factors such as peers and media, and the struggle of maintaining different parenting standards than others. Kevin and his wife take pride in their children’s respectful behavior in public, yet they find themselves constantly correcting behaviors influenced by their environments.
Dr. Lewis and Kevin also explored the concept of “deprogramming,” or correcting behaviors developed when children are outside the home. This underscores the dynamic landscape parents must navigate to maintain their values.
Promoting Healthier Families Through Better Sleep
A significant portion of the podcast focused on Kevin’s venture, Harbor, which aims to improve parental well-being through better sleep. Inspired by his own experience with sleep deprivation, Kevin developed a product integrating professional guidance and innovative technology. The system offers a reliable baby monitoring solution, avoiding common issues with existing products, and introduces a concept of a remote night nanny service. This service is designed to be affordable and leverages professionally trained nurses to help parents manage nighttime challenges, ensuring better sleep for all family members.
Fatherhood’s Essential Bonds
Kevin concluded by sharing his views on fatherhood—emphasizing a connection, love, and support as the bedrock of raising well-rounded children. He credited his own parents, his wife, and his children as his inspiration, and he offered advice to fellow fathers: Enjoy spending time with your children and cherish the fleeting nature of childhood.
Parents today face numerous challenges, but as Kevin’s journey illustrates, with mindfulness, appropriate self-care, and innovative solutions, the joys of parenting can indeed be balanced with professional success. For those seeking additional support, the podcast encourages engagement with resources like the Fatherhood Insider and the Dads with Daughters community.
For Fathers, By Fathers: A Beacon of Support
Dads with Daughters remains committed to helping fathers navigate the beautiful complexities of raising daughters to be strong, independent women. Tune in for more inspiring stories and practical advice from fathers like Kevin Lavelle.
TRANSCRIPT
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:15]:
Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters’ lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. As always, every week, I love being on this journey with you. You and I are walking on this path to help our daughters to be those amazing women that we want them to be as they get into their adult years, and it’s a process. It’s definitely a process that we walk through to be able to be that dad that we wanna be and to be engaged and to be present and to be there for our daughters as they get older. And you don’t have to walk that alone. That’s why this podcast exists. It’s here to help you to walk alongside other fathers that are either going through the process right now, have gone through the process, or other individuals that have resources that can help you again to be that dad that you wanna be.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:12]:
Every week, I love being able to bring you different guests, different people with different experiences that are fathering in different ways. And today, we got another great guest. Kevin Lovell is with us today, and Kevin is the cofounder and CEO of Harbour. It is a company that we’re gonna learn more about today. But I love their tagline, we create happier parents and healthier families one restful night at a time. And how many of you remember, especially those young first few years when you felt like a zombie? I’m just going to put it plainly, and you felt like you were not getting any sleep, and probably you weren’t getting a lot of sleep. But we’re going to talk about this venture that he has been on for the last few years and what he’s doing. But first 1st and foremost, we’re gonna learn about him as a dad.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:58]:
So I’m really excited to have him here. Kevin, thanks so much for being here.
Kevin Lavelle [00:02:01]:
Thank you. A great opportunity.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:02]:
Well, Kevin, it’s my pleasure having you here today. And one of the things that I love doing first and foremost is turning the clock back in time. And I know you’ve got 2 kids. We’re gonna focus on your daughter today, but I know you’ve got a son as well. You got an 8 year old son and a 6 year old daughter. So you had your son first. Now I wanna go back to that first moment that you found out that you were going to be a father to a daughter. What was going through your head?
Kevin Lavelle [00:02:26]:
Really fun memory. My my wife and I, our son was a little over I don’t know. He was maybe 16 months old when we found out we were going to have another child, and we both did that thing. And and I think we meant it. Then we said, you know, whether it’s a boy or a girl, it doesn’t matter. We’re just gonna be so happy that, you know, have another. And to each their own, I wasn’t into a big gender reveal party, but I did think it would be fun to learn together. And so we had her doctor email the results to someone on my team at Mizzen and Maine, and I asked him to go get flowers, you know, pink for a girl, blue for a boy, and put them in our garage so that when I came home, I was traveling, I could bring the flowers covered in a trash bag into the house and we could look at them together because my wife loves flowers.
Kevin Lavelle [00:03:14]:
That was the way that we were gonna learn together. And right as I was about to pull into the garage, I just had this overwhelming thought, god, I hope it’s a girl. And, you know, I didn’t I hadn’t said anything. And right as I went to pick the flowers up in our garage, they basically kind of fell open, and I saw it was pink. And I was just overcome with joy, and I had to pretend that I didn’t know. But I walked in and I opened it up, and my my wife was, absolutely overjoyed as well. And at the time, my my first company was an apparel company, so my my colleague had also put a pink shirt in there, one of our pink shirts as a company. So that was a fun way to tie that together.
Kevin Lavelle [00:03:54]:
And shortly after she learned it was a girl, she said, I really wanted it to be a girl. And I was like, I did too. And by the way, I found out in the garage. And so, a very fond memory, not just learning that it was going to be a girl and and, you know, knowing that we now had a son and a daughter, but, a very memorable time in our lives. And it was a very rough pregnancy for my wife. And I don’t know how true this is or an old wives tale that, you know, when it’s a girl, they they suck all the pretty and all the life out of you because they’re they’re bringing it into themselves. And we were joking because it was a much rougher pregnancy with my daughter than my son. So we we we kind of felt it might have been a girl.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:30]:
Now I talk to a lot of dads, and a lot of the fathers talk about the fact that they are that there is fear going into being a father to a daughter. Whether found or unfound, it’s there. So as you think about the years that you’ve had with your daughter thus far and you think about your own experiences, what’s been your biggest fear in raising a daughter?
Kevin Lavelle [00:04:53]:
The most direct fear as she gets older, women are more vulnerable in society and all of history than men. That’s just the nature of humanity and the nature of life. And so, higher fear that she could have something terrible happen to her than to my son. Although, as parents in an ever crazier and changing world, certainly, the fear exists, for both of them. But my focus, and my wife and I have the same belief, is help our kids there’s a phrase, prepare the child for the road and not the road for the child. And I see it so often, especially in some of the schools that we have been in. Whether it’s parents or teachers or both, they want to make sure that everything is perfect for their child rather than, how do I make my child resilient and capable of addressing whatever it is that life will bring to them. And so, everything that we can do to make them more resilient and just prepared and understand the risks that exist in the world while not being afraid of the world.
Kevin Lavelle [00:05:52]:
You could hide out real easily and miss out on a lot of the wonderful things that life has to offer. And and we want them to face the world with head held high and and know what they’re capable of.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:06:02]:
Now you’re a busy guy. You’re a CEO, entrepreneur. You have been involved with a couple of ventures and a couple of companies in your time as a father. And it not only takes time, effort, but it takes balance. So talk to me about what you’ve had to do to be able to balance all that you’re doing in starting and creating a new company, but also in trying to be that engaged father that you wanna be.
Kevin Lavelle [00:06:30]:
There are lots of people much more smarter and accomplished than me than that probably have lots of specific tips and tricks. But I’ll say the thing that has resonated or or stuck with me the most is accepting that I will never get it all done. And I could work round the clock and miss out on life in front of me. We lost my wife’s mother now about a decade ago. And that was very young to lose her. And just understanding that life is very short and very precious. And so don’t miss out on don’t miss out on what’s in front of you. And the age old adage, the nights are long, especially when it comes to sleeplessness in those early years, but the years are short.
Kevin Lavelle [00:07:10]:
And I had quite a few people say that to me when my kids were, you know, 6, 9 months old. And you’re not sleeping. And it is a level of exhaustion. Even if your kids are doing well sleeping through the night, it’s just so all consuming and difficult and everything is new and stressful. Sometimes, when people tell that to you in that time of life, you’re like, thanks. That’s super helpful. I’m barely making it in a given day. But just continuing to come back to how fortunate we are.
Kevin Lavelle [00:07:35]:
We have 2 healthy kids. That is in and of itself a miracle. And then, prioritizing as much as I can. I’ve been volunteer soccer coach for my son, taking my daughter to her gymnastics classes, and just trying to soak up the time with them because it’s moving very quickly. And there’s never going to be enough hours in the day to do all the things that I want to do. But making sure that when I’m with them, try to be as as present as possible. I could talk about this for hours, but those would be the biggest things that that really stand out to me. And then, I think I’d also just add, with that said, I heard a Naval Ravikant years ago podcast with somebody was saying that he does a good job of, I think in his own words, he said being appropriately selfish.
Kevin Lavelle [00:08:18]:
And it comes down to this analogy of put your own oxygen mask on first. If you’re not sleeping and eating and taking care of your body and your mind, then you can’t take care of your family. You can’t be there for them. You can’t be a leader. And so, I think some people end up losing sight of that and forget that they still need to have some fun. They still need to take care of themselves. They need to get sleep. Then they need to be able to sit down and read a book or chat with friends.
Kevin Lavelle [00:08:44]:
And and you it is very easy to lose sight of that, especially in the days of of of young kids. And ultimately, looking at some of my friends whose kids are a bit older, and they’re starting to adjust to the fact that they don’t spend much time with their kids anymore even though they still live at home. And so that window of time is is very short.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:09:02]:
It is very short. And as your kids get older, you look back and say, dang it. Because, hopefully, you have taken the time to be able to build those really strong relationships, spent the time, and not focus on work or not focus on the things that you think are important at the time to be able to provide for your family, but what you come to find. And I see that even though I’ve been a very engaged father throughout my entire kids’ lives. But as you get into the teenage years and they start pulling away, and you’re not able to have as many opportunities to be able to connect and engage on a regular basis, you treasure the moments that you do have to be able to create those opportunities and have those opportunities. And they look and feel a little bit different, But you definitely want to grab them, hold them, and keep doing those things with them when they give you that opening to do it. Now I asked you about if there were any things that you were afraid of and fear in that regard. But being a parent is not always easy.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:10:07]:
We just talked about and we’ll talk more about the fact of sleep and the importance of sleep. But it’s not always easy to be a father to a son, a father to a daughter. What would you say has been the hardest part for you in being a father to a daughter?
Kevin Lavelle [00:10:21]:
If I had to sum it up, I think overall, I would pick up 2 different angles to this. And I can hone in on it being daughter specific and also being a father specific. It’s not specifically daughter related, but it is very much a central struggle to being a parent. And it’s something that I see, I don’t say this on a high horse, but it’s something I see a lot of other parents neglect. And I can see it coming back to bite them, which is raising good, capable kids who are respectful and that you want to spend time with is there’s a pretty significant amount of time that is frustrating and you have to be, you have to be the parent. You have to be the adult. You have to be the rule enforcer. You have to constantly give feedback and it’s frustrating and it’s challenging.
Kevin Lavelle [00:11:03]:
But when you don’t do that, each passing day, week, month, and year, it’s harder to raise good, respectful kids that are capable and, you know, you want to spend time with. Jordan Peterson, I think it was in his 12 Rules For Life, talked about you don’t let your kids do things that make you like them less because you love them more than anyone else in the world. And if you let their bad behavior go, their obnoxious behavior, even annoying tendencies, if you don’t help them correct those, well, guess what the rest of the world’s gonna do? They’re not really gonna like them either. They’re not gonna want to engage with them. They’re not gonna want to be friends with them. They’re not gonna wanna help them, mentor them, etcetera. And so I think about this a lot, especially when I have those frustrating conversations or interactions that I have to work very hard to help them grow and flourish. And that means I’m bearing a lot of the brunt of that so that they, in the rest of the world, have people like them and want to be around them.
Kevin Lavelle [00:12:01]:
And one of the things that my wife and I are most proud of on an ongoing basis is when people are around our kids, they are genuinely surprised at how wonderful they are to be around. They’re very respectful. We can go to very nice restaurants with them without an iPad. And they do great. And that I don’t know how many times we went to a restaurant where it wasn’t awesome before it started to be good. And now, it’s great. And so, you know, I think with that, that is not necessarily daughter specific. I’ll go with now daughter specific.
Kevin Lavelle [00:12:33]:
And the other key piece here is you don’t raise your kids in a vacuum. And our kids go to school with other kids whose parents are fine with different approaches to language and respect and electronics and vanity and spending. And there’s a when our kids spend time with certain kids, they come home with very annoying or inappropriate kind of phrases or responses. And it’s getting a little bit better because they know what, they tend to understand more of what’s right and wrong and what is and isn’t acceptable. But when they are in school all day or they spend time with certain kids, they come home with things that we have to then work to correct. And it’s not a huge problem. But, you know, when you send your kids out into the world, you have to remember they’re out in the world without you. And that’s why it’s so important to build those innate characteristics.
Kevin Lavelle [00:13:25]:
And especially on the little girl front, some parents have no problem with makeup and music and things that are just not appropriate for my daughter’s age. And then she’s struggling with this back and forth of, well, I see my friends do it and their parents are okay with it. And you have to say, while being respectful, you can’t really say, well, those are not good parents in our view. Because there’s a way to say that that inspires better decision making. And there’s a way to say that that could make them look down upon or feel differently about folks. That’s that’s not not helpful. People can parent hard, but they want to parent. My job is to take care of my kids.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:14:03]:
Well, and the other thing that I think that all of us have to understand is that each of us come into parenting without a rule book, without a guide book. And depending on the model that you saw in your own experience as a child yourself, the other parents that you surround yourself with, you start to identify and create ways in which you parent based on those. And sometimes parents don’t realize what they’re doing or are not doing, and unless someone points it out to them as well. But I completely understand what you’re saying because sometimes you do have to do that deprogramming with your kids when they get back into your home or if they’ve spent time even when they go to grandparents and they come home, and the rules are different there. And then they come back and are like, well, grandma and grandpa said it was okay, so why not here? And you have to deal with that as well. So I completely understand what you’re saying in that regard. Now we’ve been talking and kinda hinting about the importance of sleep. And as I mentioned at the beginning, you are the CEO and cofounder of Harbor.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:11]:
It is a organization company that is working to create happier parents and healthier families, as I said, one restful night at a time. And I remember those days with both my kids feeling like a zombie when you’re trying to go to work, and you’re coming home, and, you know, you’re getting a few hours of sleep. And, you know, those things are very challenging, and those those days and nights can be long. And that being said, I wanted to ask you about Harbor because, like you said, you spent quite a few years at Mizzen and Main, which is a clothing company. And you pivoted after this to open your own organization and create your own company in that regard and beyond what you did at Mizzen and Main to something completely different. So talk to me about that origin story of Arbor. And what made you decide to move away from clothing and move toward something that we’re talking about in regards to helping parents to get better sleep, to be able to stay connected with their children, and be able to create this new product?
Kevin Lavelle [00:16:17]:
So when my son was born, it was a very memorable time in my life. Also, similar to that very visceral memory of finding out my second was gonna be a girl. We were in the throes of fundraising for Mizzen and Maine. We were assigned the term sheet with our private equity firm in the delivery room for my son. And I remember pieces of that very vividly. And one of them was, I’m not the person who’s going to decide the car seat or the stroller. I was helpful with my wife there where she wanted me to. But I’m more of the tech person, and I did a lot of research.
Kevin Lavelle [00:16:49]:
And there was a company called Nanit that had a lot of recognition and press about their very innovative baby monitor. It’s a Wi Fi camera with an app on your phone. And I thought, oh, that’s really neat. I like apps on my phone. That’s convenient. But while someone was a couple, I don’t know, weeks or months old, I can’t remember the exact date that it happened. And he was in his own room. And I woke up one morning and the app on my phone, because you have to sleep next to your phone, which I don’t like doing to begin with, but you have to sleep next to your phone so the app audio runs in the background.
Kevin Lavelle [00:17:18]:
The app had just crashed. And look, apps crash. They’re not a 100% reliable. And I panicked and ran across the house. And, of course, he was fine. Kids are more resilient than we give them credit for. But it was a very alarming realization that this thing that I’m supposed to be able to rely on, you I can’t. And so we went out that day and bought an old school Motorola camera and an old school Motorola monitor that was direct local only communication.
Kevin Lavelle [00:17:46]:
It does not use the Internet in any way, shape, or form. But we kept a Wi Fi camera. I got rid of the Nanit and ended up just using a Google Home device, a Nest camera, because my wife and I worked together at Mizzen and Maine. And when she came back to work, we wanted to be able to check-in on the nanny with a babysitter. You just you wanna be able to know. And not that I wanna be monitoring 20 fourseven, but technology is supposed to make our lives better. And there have been a lot of promises that have largely failed to deliver for parents. So this idea of why do I have 2 separate systems to be able to just know that I’m monitoring my kid and record and rewind and check out from outside the house? I talked to a lot of parents over the last 8 years and just sort of getting feedback and wondering what they were using.
Kevin Lavelle [00:18:32]:
And I found out that 20 to 30 plus percent of my friends did the same thing that I did, was have multiple systems. And in an industry and in a time of life when parents want the best for their kids, baby registries are between $3 and probably $15,000 worth of products as a first time parent. Cribs and strollers and car seats and multiple strollers and formula and and pumps and on and on and on and on. The best that parents have to offer or the best that parents have accessible to them is hacking together multiple systems that don’t communicate with each other and blah blah blah. So I wanted to solve this problem since my son was born. And so what we’ve built is a camera and a 10 inch monitor that connect directly to each other without Internet. And both devices also connect to the Internet. So you get the best of both worlds.
Kevin Lavelle [00:19:29]:
It’s a dedicated device that alerts you if you lose connection. And everything connects to the Internet when it’s available. So we have an app. You can record. You can rewind. You get all of those benefits and features as well. I’ve got one right over here. I should have had it right next to me.
Kevin Lavelle [00:19:44]:
But it is a 10 inch monitor. So you can actually watch up to 4 different streams on one screen. You can control the zoom and the volume of each independently. There’s nothing like that that exists today. And I can tell you, however bad the experience was with a Wi Fi camera with 1 child with 2, it’s it’s almost impossible on a tiny little iPhone screen. And we can watch up to 4. And then we put privacy first. So our camera and our tablet are both built outside of China.
Kevin Lavelle [00:20:10]:
They’re both built with non Chinese silicon. The chips inside the device is basically the thing that powers it from a processor perspective. And then the chip in the camera is able to do all of the advanced analytics and kind of signal to noise sorting that makes our product really unique on the device locally. Meaning, it does not go through our cloud to process your information. And the the best way to think about that is like on a self driving car on a Tesla, they have cameras that process everything locally. Because if you had to send to the Internet, is that a red light or a green light? Obviously, that’s not very safe from a decision making time frame. And then we also put a memory chip in the camera. So all of your memories are stored locally on the device itself.
Kevin Lavelle [00:20:52]:
If you wanna use our app, obviously, if you’re outside the house, you will access it, and that will be remote. We’re not storing it. We’re not processing it. Unlike every other Wi Fi camera that exists, you are paying them to store your footage on their cloud. And in many cases, third party clouds that may not have the same level of security that you would expect. So very unique device, very unique monitor. We’ve really positioned ourselves as something that does not exist today for parents and started shipping mass production units to customers in September of 2024. And it’s going great so far.
Kevin Lavelle [00:21:24]:
We’ve shipped thousands of devices in just a few months. And then the other thing I’ll touch on very briefly for framing is that’s exciting and and we think a game changer for parents. And it’s been very well received. But we are using it as the foundation for what we have called a remote night nanny. So if you can afford it, an in home night nanny or night nurse is one of life’s greatest blessings. It’s also unaffordable for almost everybody. And a lot of people who can afford it don’t want someone else in their house, or they heard a horror story and they don’t feel comfortable with it. Or even if they can afford it, they can’t really find someone that they would trust to come in and help take care of their child.
Kevin Lavelle [00:21:57]:
And the main purpose of an in home night nanny is they will listen to your baby monitor in another room, and they will go in when it is necessary and appropriate to go in. So if your child starts to fuss or cry a little bit, they’ll look at the monitor. Okay. Nothing’s wrong. And they basically start a timer and they wait 5, 10, 15 minutes depending on age and stage. Because if you hear a child cry and immediately run-in, you delay their ability to learn how to sleep because sleep is a skill. Just like talking and walking, you have to kind of fumble through it and you and you find your way and you develop the skill of sleeping. There’s a lot of really bad information out there on the Internet about sleep.
Kevin Lavelle [00:22:36]:
And sleep experts, legitimate ones, know you have to help the child learn how to sleep. And so, the challenges in home night nannies, if you can find 1, are $300 to $700 a night depending on where you live in the country. And it’s very hard to find them as well. So, what we’re doing is because we have built the hardware, after you onboard into our system, you can hire our professionally trained night nurses remotely. You press a button on the monitor, sort of like arming an alarm system, and that turns over the controls of your monitor to our professionally trained night nurses. We turn the volume on your monitor down to 0 all night long and only wake you up when a professionally trained night nurse says it’s time to go in. So if something is wrong, like something falls in the crib or the baby’s arm gets out of the swaddle and gets stuck in the crib slot, we’re gonna wake you up immediately. Otherwise, we’re gonna start the timer and we’re going to wait until it is time for you to go in.
Kevin Lavelle [00:23:33]:
And what we have found is the 1st night, parents are adjusting to, okay, this is a little different and a little a little new. But the 2nd night, parents are telling us they’ve things like, I haven’t slept this well since my 1st trimester. And that’s because it’s not just that I’m not hearing something. Because you may not go in all night long, but your child is going to make noises all night long. Kids make a lot of noise. And if you don’t remember it, good for you. That’s fortunate. But kids can fuss and cry off and on for hours.
Kevin Lavelle [00:24:03]:
Now, they’re still getting sleep in between, but you’re not as a parent. But what we’re finding is parents are telling us, especially moms, to have a professional be the one that is helping me know when to go in rather than that anxiety and that guilt and that shame that comes with being a parent and not knowing what to do, It allowed me to really actually get deep, restful sleep for the first time in a long time. And because we have built the hardware, we have a lot of fail safes built in, the system just turns itself back on if it loses connection, And we’re hiring professionally trained nurses so that we can have 1 nurse work with multiple families at the same time and bring the cost down to about 5% of the cost of an in home night nanny. So that’s Harbor. A lot more to talk about there, but that’s a good good roundup of what we’ve built here. No.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:51]:
It sounds like an amazing product, and I have not used it, and I don’t need it now. And my kids would be really weirded out if I was using it at this point in their lives. But that being said, when they were very young, this sounds like a game changer. Now one question that I had when you were talking about the technology and, you know, how you had your app and that you were trying to keep it on a phone and and that it was running and then lose power and you you know, all of that story that you told. With your system, are you running off of your Wi Fi in your home, or are you running off of the Wi Fi off your phones? Because if the power goes out, then, you know, how does that all work?
Kevin Lavelle [00:25:31]:
Yeah. So a couple of points on the technical side. The camera and the monitor or multiple cameras are going to run off your home Wi Fi when it is strong and available. If you don’t have Wi Fi, so as a point of comparison, if you have one of these Wi Fi baby monitor systems and you travel to a hotel, you can’t use it because hotels will not let you tap your devices onto their Wi Fi. You can put your phone on it, but you can’t run your devices on their networks from a security perspective. So the message boards online are full of parents who said, you know, just got to our hotel and realized I can’t use my Nanette. I can’t use my Owlette. And I had to run to Walmart to get a baby monitor because, you know, get adjoining rooms.
Kevin Lavelle [00:26:11]:
You gotta be able to look in. And so the camera and the monitor, one camera and one monitor, creates its own Wi Fi signal to communicate directly with each other while not requiring a separate Wi Fi network. So it has direct local communication that doesn’t require the Internet. But when you’re at home and your your routers are appropriately configured and and everything is running, it will just run through your home home Wi Fi. And one of the benefits there is home Wi Fi tends to be stronger. You’ve got it across the entire house. And our that feed does not leave your home. So if it’s running on your home WiFi, it does not leave your home.
Kevin Lavelle [00:26:50]:
Again, we are not swearing or processing anything. If your router goes down, if your Internet goes down, then your camera will fail over to direct local communication. So when it’s running through your home WiFi, it’s saying, okay. I’m running through home WiFi. I’ve got good signal strength. All of that’s measured. When it can’t find that home WiFi or it’s not working, then it says connect directly to the monitor. Now with a power outage, at that point in time, if you were running an app on your phone, the camera is going to fail because no baby monitor cameras come with batteries.
Kevin Lavelle [00:27:23]:
I’ll say none. Virtually none do because batteries are a severe fire risk, especially if it’s running 247. And that’s why, generally, you will not see batteries in cameras in homes. And so if there’s a power outage, you wouldn’t necessarily be notified if you’re just using a WiFi camera. But our monitor would know, hey, I’ve lost connection with that camera because the cameras no longer has power. I’m going to alert the parents that there’s no longer a connection. Now, that doesn’t mean you can do anything about it because you don’t have power in your house. But now you know, and you can choose to maybe open the doors so that you can still hear, maybe bring the crib into your room.
Kevin Lavelle [00:28:02]:
That’s then a parental decision on what happens next. But the important thing is we empower parents to know what’s actually happening.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:09]:
And about the night nurses, tell me about how do you identify these individuals? What type of background do they have? How are they trained to be able to provide that kind of service for families?
Kevin Lavelle [00:28:18]:
So we’re recruiting actual nurses who have worked in pediatrics, whether in offices or hospitals. And then in some cases, they have in home night nursing experience where they have worked with families and homes. And in other cases, they just have pediatrics medical experience. And then we are training them from our professionally trained night nursing staff. So, our director of nursing has worked for years in hospitals. She was a pediatric oncology nurse. She worked as an in home care manager and as an in home night nurse. She’s a Hmong herself.
Kevin Lavelle [00:28:49]:
And so she is working with one of our advisors and our team on training those nurses that we’re bringing in.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:56]:
And as you said, those in home nannies or nurses that you might have inside your home can be very expensive. What’s the price point on not only your system, but having this type of monitoring with night nurses to be able to assist parents?
Kevin Lavelle [00:29:09]:
To buy our camera and our monitor and all of our features, we do not require subscriptions or additional payments. You buy a camera and a monitor, you get everything forever. It’s $599, which puts us as roughly price comparable to all the other leading systems on the market today because they require annual subscriptions. And then the remote night nanny experience, right now, is about $30 a night. You have to buy kind of packages of nights, and it works out to about $30 a night. And our long term vision is to get the cost down to $20 a night. Once we have enough people in the system and we can hire the staff and have the systems capable of working with many more families at the same time, we will continue to pass those cost savings on to our customers. And it’s kind of cool.
Kevin Lavelle [00:29:51]:
At $20 a night, you could do 3 months of the remote night nanny for the same cost of about 1 week of an in home night nanny. And so we like to say 95% of the benefit and 5% of the cost of an in home night nanny.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:30:06]:
Well, it’s a great value for families and definitely gives families peace of mind in regard to being able to be if you are sleeping and you get that good sleep, you’re going to be able to be more present and be able to be much more attuned to what your child needs versus trying to struggle through with the lack of sleep that many parents get, especially for the 1st 6 months, 8 months, year, or more, depending on your child, that sometimes you run into.
Kevin Lavelle [00:30:37]:
Yeah. I mean, there’s a lot of different studies and research, but very significant percentage of couples who get divorced say sleeplessness in the early years of childhood was a major contributing factor. The reality is a lack of sleep contributes to or exacerbates postpartum depression. It has very significant immune system impacts, durability, even to be a safe driver. When you are sleep deprived, whether you have a child or not, sleep deprived drivers can be even more dangerous than drunk drivers. And so, there’s a lot from the adult side. And then on the child side, we make a big difference for parents. But on the other side, our monitor system is the kind of help parents and kids get more sleep.
Kevin Lavelle [00:31:14]:
That’s the fundamental nature of our system relative to everything else. The single best thing that you can do for your child is obviously make sure they have appropriate nutrition in those early years, in early months weeks years. The second best thing that you can do for them is make sure that they are getting the appropriate amount of sleep on a consistent basis. And that is really hard to do for most parents for a whole host of very obvious reasons. And so, when you think about a well rested child, certainly, we can imagine they are more pleasant to be around. But from a mental development perspective, from a dysregulation perspective, from an immune system perspective, from a physical health development perspective, all of those, you have to have the right nutrition and you have to have the right sleep. And if you are not supporting your child’s ability to sleep through the night, you are very much hampering their health and well-being and development. And I’ll say one final note on sleep.
Kevin Lavelle [00:32:11]:
There are some very bad influencers and sleep gurus that will tell you the minute your child is crying, you need to be in there holding their hands and they will feel abandoned. Science has disproven this again and again and again. And similar to this idea of put your own oxygen mask on first, when moms don’t get sleep, the propensity for postpartum depression absolutely skyrockets for all the obvious reasons. And when a mom has postpartum depression, it has a very significant impact on her ability to feed her child, nurture her child, love her child. It’s a very difficult thing to go through. Obviously, there’s no way that I could go through it, but it is a very understandable position that moms find themselves in. And so, these influencers and sleep gurus who, you know, propagate very bad sleep ideas, they’re really harming parents’ ability to get the right information and support their their families. And so, our focus is how do we help parents who want help? I’m never going to tell a parent, you’re doing it wrong.
Kevin Lavelle [00:33:15]:
Every parent is responsible for raising their own child and we all have our own way. However, most parents are struggling and need some help. And we are here to provide very clear, unambiguous, science backed information. And we do that for free. At our website, harbor.co, we have a ton of free resources. And our mission is happier parents and healthier families. And so, we have a lot of free resources on our website. If you don’t want to buy our baby monitor for any number of reasons, that’s fine.
Kevin Lavelle [00:33:41]:
There’s still a lot of great resources that you can find. And we have opportunities for parents to sign up for text based sleep coaching. If they just want to text a nurse and get some help, it’s a very affordable $30 a month. You don’t have to sign up for big hour long sessions or sign up for our full system, although we offer those as well.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:33:58]:
Well, Kevin, I wanna say thank you for sharing all of that. If people wanna find out more about your system, the night nanny services, or anything else, where should they go?
Kevin Lavelle [00:34:10]:
Harbor.co. And you can find us on on the socials at harbor sleep. And we have so many great resources there. We have very robust sleep guides for infants and also toddlers. We have also formed a harbor council of pediatric sleep doctors, postpartum counselors, pediatricians, OB GYNs that have written many articles for us. And our goal is if you have a question as a parent, we don’t have all the answers yet, but we have pushed a lot of great content for free online to be a great resource for parents as they need it.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:34:45]:
Now we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our fatherhood 5, where I ask you 5 more questions to delve deeper into you as a dad. Are you ready? Yes. In one word, what is fatherhood?
Kevin Lavelle [00:34:55]:
Joy.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:34:55]:
When was the time that you finally felt like you succeeded at being a father to a daughter?
Kevin Lavelle [00:35:01]:
I don’t think I could point to, like, we were at a theme park or we were at a restaurant. To me, it’s those moments where my daughter would look at me, come home from work, come home from traveling, I’m tucking her in at night. And I just see that look in her eye that says, you are my safety, you are my home. The level of connection and love there, that success is a dad.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:35:24]:
Now if I was to talk to your kids, how would they describe you as a dad?
Kevin Lavelle [00:35:28]:
I believe they would say fun, strong, great. And those are the things that that I hope that they would say at their ages with their vocabulary. Some of the kind of underlying things would be that I’m supportive, that we have a lot of fun together. We laugh, chase them around the house, and that they still really want to spend time with me. They’ve got friends, but generally, they’d rather spend time with my wife and I than anyone else.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:35:54]:
Now let’s go 10 years down the road. What do you want them to say then?
Kevin Lavelle [00:35:57]:
As I think about this phase of life, we no longer have little kids. They’re not toddlers, and they go to school full time. And my wife and I have talked about, like, we did it. We got out of the the infant and toddler and very young kid phase as best as we possibly could have. We have wonderful kids. They’re respectful. They’re resilient. They like to learn.
Kevin Lavelle [00:36:22]:
They like to have fun. They’re great kids. Now, we need to prepare them to be teenagers. And so, what would I hope to feel like at that point in time? That whatever it is that our kids want to do, whether they want to go to college, whether they want to pursue a sport, whatever it is. That they are ready to go face the world and they are as prepared as they possibly could be. As I said, prepare the child for the road. And that they truly understand, as best as a, you know, 18 year old can, what it means to be happy. That they will not chase the superficial.
Kevin Lavelle [00:36:54]:
That they will chase the core, the meaningful, the spiritual in whatever way that is for them.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:37:00]:
Now, who inspires you to be a better dad?
Kevin Lavelle [00:37:03]:
Certainly, I feel like I won the parent lottery. My parents raised me right. And I felt my whole life the appropriate balance of support and safety, but also go forth and conquer. My wife, she is an absolutely incredible mother, and I think a better mother than I am father. And, you know, as cliche as it is, my kids. When they show me that they want to spend time with me and that they want more of me and that they’re truly grateful for the life that we have as best as young kids can, that, okay, keep going. I want to do more of it.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:37:34]:
Now, you’ve given a lot of piece of advice today, things that people can think about and look at ways in which they can incorporate some of those pieces into their own experience as a father. If you are talking to a father, what’s one piece of advice you’d want to give to every father out there?
Kevin Lavelle [00:37:50]:
So for the dads that have kids older than me, I’m not sure how much advice I could give. But for those coming up behind me with with younger kids, I think it’s a big part of what we talked about. Raise kids that you want to be around and that they love you. Like, that they are the kids that other people want to spend time with and that they want to spend time with you. That that kind of full circle. And if you do those two things, then you’re doing all the other things right. And that’s a good kind of metric or or baseline to seek. And as cliche as it is, it goes by really fast.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:38:27]:
It definitely does. Well, Kevin, I just wanna say thank you. Thank you for sharing your journey today. And as Kevin said, if you wanna find out more about him or about his company, go to harbor.co to find out more information about this amazing new technology and resource for you as you are working to be the best dad that you wanna be. Kevin, thanks so much for being here today.
Kevin Lavelle [00:38:51]:
Thanks for the opportunity and and for the inspiring work you do for dads.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:38:55]:
If you’ve enjoyed today’s episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, we invite you to check out the fatherhood insider. The fatherhood insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual and most dads are figuring it out as they go along, and the fatherhood insider is full of resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step by step roadmaps, and more, you will engage and learn with experts, but more importantly, dads like you. So check it out at fathering together dot org. If you are a father of a daughter and have not yet joined the dads with daughters Facebook community, there’s a link in the notes today. Dads with daughters is a program of fathering together. We look forward to having you back for another great guest next week all geared to helping you raise strong and powered daughters and be the best dad that you can be.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:39:54]:
We’re all in the same boat, and it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time, we give the lessons, we make the meals, We buy them presents and bring your AK. Because those kids are growing fast. The time goes by just like a dynamite blast. Be the best dad you can be. You’re the best dad you can be.
