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Parenting, particularly fatherhood, is a journey laden with challenges, emotions, and an unwavering sense of responsibility. In the latest episode of the Dads with Daughters podcast, I welcome Quentarious Jones and Demetrius Roe Jones of the Not Your Average Girl Dad Podcast we delve deep into the nuances of raising daughters. They offer listeners not only their personal experiences but also invaluable advice on how fathers can maintain strong, emotional connections with their daughters while growing themselves.
Fostering Emotional Connections
One of the primary themes discussed in this episode is the importance of fathers understanding and connecting with their daughters’ emotions. Both Quentarious and Demetrius opened up about the challenges they faced in expressing vulnerability, stemming from their own upbringings. They emphasize that showing emotion isn’t a weakness but a strength that fosters deeper connections with their daughters.
Quentarious reflected, “Embracing and expressing my emotions has been a journey not just for my well-being, but for the emotional health of my daughters.” This insight aligns with Dr. Lewis’s message — that fathers should be consistent and willing to show vulnerability. Embracing this openness allows daughters to feel understood, supported, and emotionally secure.
The Challenge of Understanding Emotions
Raising daughters brings unique emotional challenges. Quentarious and Demetrius highlighted their initial fears and concerns upon learning they were going to be fathers. The fear of not being able to protect their daughters, especially from emotional pain, weighed heavily on them.
Demetrius shared his struggle with showing vulnerability, rooted in a strict upbringing. He realized that breaking this cycle was essential for his relationship with his daughters. He mentioned, “I grew up thinking that showing emotion was for the weak. But, understanding that being open and vulnerable is okay has been a revelation. It’s something I want my daughters to see and learn.”
These experiences underline the importance for fathers to better understand emotions, both their own and their daughters’. It’s about breaking down societal norms that equate masculinity with stoicism and instead fostering an environment where emotional expression is encouraged and valued.
The Role of Fathers: More Than Just Providers
Another critical point discussed was the perception of fathers as mere providers. The hosts argue that fatherhood goes beyond financial support; it encompasses being an emotional pillar, a mentor, and a steadfast presence in their children’s lives.
Dr. Lewis pointed out, “Being a father isn’t just about providing; it’s about being present and emotionally available. Our daughters need to see that we care, that we’re here for them, not just in good times but through adversity too.”
This paradigm shift from provider to an emotionally available guardian is vital. Fathers who engage with their daughters’ emotional worlds help build their daughters’ confidence and emotional resilience.
Not Showing Favoritism
Throughout their conversation, the topic of not showing favoritism among children was underscored. Both Quentarious and Demetrius spoke about the delicate balance needed to treat each child fairly. Quentarious noted, “It’s important that our daughters feel valued and equally loved. Favoritism can create rifts that last a lifetime.”
Avoiding favoritism involves understanding and appreciating each child’s unique personality, needs, and emotions. This approach not only fosters individual growth but also strengthens familial bonds.
Faith and Leadership: Core Elements
As fathers and hosts of the “Not Your Average Girl Dad” podcast, Quentarious and Demetrius frequently discuss the intersection of fatherhood, faith, and leadership. Their podcast was born from regular conversations about life, music, and their roles as fathers, husbands, and leaders within their communities.
Discussing faith, they highlighted its role in navigating tough times. The duo believes that faith offers a foundation and a guiding light for fathers. “Having faith and finding joy in difficult situations is essential,” emphasized Quentarious.
Their goal is to inspire other fathers by sharing principles they’ve learned and lived by. They hope that emphasizing faith and family in their podcast will resonate with their listeners.
The latest episode of “Dads with Daughters” is a treasure trove of wisdom for fathers navigating the complex landscape of raising daughters. As Quentarious, Demetrius, and Dr. Lewis share their stories and advice, one message stands clear: Fatherhood is an evolving journey that requires openness, emotional availability, and a commitment to learning.
Whether it’s through fostering emotional connections, challenging societal norms, or drawing strength from faith, fathers play a pivotal role in shaping their daughters’ lives. The insights shared in this episode serve as a reminder of the profound impact that an emotionally present, understanding, and faithful father can have. Fathers, you’re not alone on this journey — reach out, connect, and continue growing.
TRANSCRIPT
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:05]:
Welcome to dads with daughters. In this show, we spotlight dads, resources, and more to help you be the best dad you can be.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:16]:
Welcome back to the Dads with Daughters podcast where we bring you guests to be active participants in your daughters’ lives, raising them to be strong, independent women. Really excited to have you back again this week. Every week, I love being able to be here with you, to be able to talk with you, to work with you, to help you on this journey that you’re on. And I say help, but really you’re helping me too because by having this show, I have the opportunity to have amazing guests here, and I learn from them just as much as I’m hoping that you learn from them as well. And that’s what it’s all about. It you know, what’s so important is that you and I know that we don’t have to do this alone. Because so often in society today, we have this feeling that to be that amazing dad, you gotta you gotta man up. You gotta just push forward.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:02]:
You gotta do it and gotta know everything the moment your child’s born. And the answer is you really don’t, because you’re not gonna know everything the moment your child is born. You’re gonna fail many times, and that’s okay. But you’ve got so many men around you that are fathers too and have done this. And if you’re willing to let down your guard a little bit, we could use the v word right now. I’ve used it before. If You’re willing to be a little vulnerable in saying, hey. I don’t get this, or I don’t got this.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:33]:
And you’re willing to talk to some other dads around you, you’re gonna learn a lot. And that’s why why this show exists is to to be here, to be that resource for you, to let you be able to connect with other dads that have different experiences. And that’s why every week we have different guests that we bring on to share their own experiences. And today we got 2 more great dads with us today. Demetrius Jones and Quinterius Jones are both with us today. They are both fathers of daughters. Demetrius has 3 daughters. Quinterius has 2 daughters.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:04]:
So we got a lot of daughters in the house, and and we’re gonna be talking about the journeys that they have been on. And, also, we’re gonna talk about a podcast that they do together called not your average girl dad podcast. So we’re gonna be talking about that as well. So I’m really excited to have them here, guys. Thanks so much for being here today.
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:02:20]:
Thanks for having us.
Quentarious Jones [00:02:23]:
Yeah. Thank you for having us, Chris. We really appreciate it. Very exciting.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:02:25]:
So I wanna turn the clock back in time on both of you because you have daughters. And, Demetrius, you’ve got 3. Quentarius, you’ve got 2. So I wanna turn back the clock all the way back to that first moment when you found out that you were going to be a dad to a daughter. What was going through both your heads?
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:02:43]:
Well, I’ll start first. When I found out I was going to be a dad, I was excited, actually. Because long story short, the doctor said we won’t be able to have any kids. So my first child was literally my miracle child and we named her miracle. So I was excited. I was a little nervous, but I remember when it was getting closer and closer for the first time in a long time, I got butterfly in my stuff. I was excited. Yeah.
Quentarious Jones [00:03:09]:
I would say the same. It was one of those things where I knew I always wanted kids. And my first thought was, okay, we’re gonna have a son. I was like, I wanna have a son first girl, then another son. So I, at first I wanted 3 kids and to find out that, okay, we’re having a girl. It was shocking. I was like, Hey, you know, you always have that, that 50, 50, but I was like, wow, okay, we’re having a girl. So I was like, this is gonna be pretty cool.
Quentarious Jones [00:03:30]:
One of the strangest things, and I kinda shared this on one of our episodes is that I actually had a dream about Kalani before she was born. So I didn’t know her name was gonna be Kalani at the time, but I had a dream about her and she turned out to be the same little girl in my dream. And I just thought that was, wow. That’s that was pretty cool, but it was an exciting time for us. It gave me a sense of real responsibility really quick. So it’s been a joy being a girl dad. Been a joy.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:04:04]:
So one of the things that I think that I was gonna that I am kind of interested in knowing, and this is something that I talk to a lot of dads about, is that when I talk to dads about being dads with daughters, a lot of times they talk about that there is a fear to being a dad to a daughter. What would you say were both of your biggest fears in raising daughters?
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:04:24]:
My biggest fear is that I can’t protect them at all times. I am so over protect them. It’s like the smallest little thing. And it’s like, what do you mean I have to go without me? What do you mean? Like, she was like, my wife was like, you know, you’re a bitch. You have to go back to work. I was like, well, I’m taking them with me, you know? So it’s just the fear of not being able to protect them all the time, but I just have to trust that God’s watching over them and that he can protect them in ways that I can’t. So that’s my biggest fear.
Quentarious Jones [00:04:53]:
I think I share a similar fear, but I would say more so just knowing that, and I’m kind of biased, of course, because I’m their dad, but just knowing that one day, hopefully, they will get married and just hoping that that guy can be anywhere close to what I provide for my daughters from a spiritual level, from a financial level, from a mental level. It’s just being able to support them in a way that I know that I can and investing in them to be strong young women in the society that we live in. And so just hoping that they find someone that sees them as the jewels that they are. And so my fear would be is them not finding that someone and being maybe manipulated into or settling for something that I know that they can have more of or have a better situation with someone. So just hoping that they find someone that can that can bring that to the table.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:05:52]:
Now fatherhood is never easy. It has its ups, its downs, and in betweens. And we were talking before about that about when they’re young and they don’t sleep and you barely keep your eyes open. So what’s been the hardest part of being a father to a daughter thus far?
Quentarious Jones [00:06:09]:
I’m gonna say the endless emotion. The spectrum of emotions. And because for me growing up, I haven’t always been, and I can admit that I haven’t always been, that in tune with my emotions. So having daughters has definitely opened me up to feeling more or being more in tune with my feelings. And learning that with them, everything matters is always something. And sometimes where they may whine about things that in my mind, I’m like, I don’t think there’s anything to whine about, but taking the time to sit down with them and really understand them as where they where they are. My wife helped me see this one time when we were, going through a situation with my oldest daughter when she was going to school, and she was having a tough time adjusting to starting school for the 1st few months. And we had a rough time getting up in the morning on the way to school, a lot of crying, a lot of I don’t wanna go.
Quentarious Jones [00:07:07]:
And my wife helped me see, even though I know they’re human, she just told me, she’s like, hey, Quinn. You just gotta think. She’s a human just like you’re human. Some days you’re gonna have tough days. You’re gonna have rough days. And her way of expressing it may be a little bit different from you because you’re older and you kinda understand that you’re not gonna cry about everything, but her way of expressing herself is through her tears. And so that helped me gain a little bit more patience with my daughters. And so I think that’s the biggest challenge is just learning that they’re humans just like we are.
Quentarious Jones [00:07:40]:
They’re just smaller humans, and they have their mood. They have their feelings and just learning to navigate them so that you can help meet them where they are and get the best out of the situation.
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:07:51]:
I would say trying to figure out each one of their many personalities. I have 3 beautiful girls and they have 3 totally different personalities. My oldest child, she’s real pretty and I don’t want to touch that. That’s dirty and things of that nature. My middle child, she’s kinda like tomboyish, like love playing in the dirt. And then my youngest is just bossy. You know, she’s just like, I want it now. Give it to me.
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:08:21]:
And so it’s just trying to figure them all out. And another thing, vulnerable, having a vulnerable moment is try not to show favoritism. Treating them all the same. I’m not gonna lie. It’s hard at times because especially with my certain one, I could have my first, you know, that’s your first. That’s your priority. But you have to treat all of them the same. If one is no, all is no.
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:08:45]:
If one is yes, all is there. You get 1 piece of candy, gotta give all of them piece of candy. And so that’s been the biggest challenge to me.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:08:53]:
Well, then I’ll tell you both. I mean, things don’t change that much as they get older, and you’re gonna have to keep being consistent as parents. You’re going to have to keep working day in and day out to figure out the personalities and the emotions get even worse as they get into their teenage years. So you definitely have to kind of ride the wave and be willing to ride the wave. You know, one one of my past guests said this, and I’ve said this numerous times with different guests. And in a conversation that I had had with with a author, she said to me that one of the things that dads need to think about, especially dads with daughters need to think about, is the fact that so many of us as men are programmed innately to be fixers. So we go into situations always with the mentality of how can I fix this? And our daughters and our partners in life don’t always want us to fix things. And you at times need to go into the conversations, especially with your daughters with the concept of asking your daughters when you’re sitting down with them, is this a fixing conversation? Or is this a listening conversation? And let them decide.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:10:07]:
And that was a moment. And it was I got it later in life, and I wish that I had got it earlier in life because I think that I would have incorporated that earlier because I had incorporated it when I found out about it. In my daughter’s teenage years, they probably would have looked at me like I was an alien. And that they would have been like, stop using your psychobabble on me, dad. But if you have a younger daughter, that is a definite. Think about using that because it is something that I think will make a huge difference in how you communicate with the females in your life. I’m not just saying your daughters. I’m saying the females in your life.
Quentarious Jones [00:10:45]:
And I think that’s good because I kinda learned that with my wife. And now that you’re saying that I never really looked at it that way for my daughters in the same way. So I can definitely take that advice because I I do that a lot with my wife. It’s like, hey. I have to ask. I pause because I know I I wanna fix it. I’m that type of person, and I kinda just have the personality that I always wanna help someone because I always wanna I’m always in the state of, hey, how can I help you? How can I get you out of this rut? And so for her, sometimes it’s just, I don’t really wanna be out of the rut right now. I just kinda wanna blow off steam.
Quentarious Jones [00:11:21]:
And so I I use that with my with my wife, but I never thought of using it with my 2 daughters. So that’s great advice. Great advice.
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:11:29]:
I think the same thing. I never thought about it with my daughters. I’ve have had to learn to let my wife vent and let her just get it off her chest. Because you know what me, I’m like, I’m just like, what’s the purpose of it? And if you still got the problem, I want the solution, but I realized that why is maybe a little different. So I say, okay, man. And then if you want me to ask, I had learned, they’ll ask. Oh, you want my answer? Okay. So I get my solution there.
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:11:52]:
So I’ve that is good. I never thought about to actually apply that with my daughters.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:11:56]:
Now, Contreras, you meant you made the comment that one of the things you had to really work on yourself was to kinda let down your guard a bit, be a bit more vulnerable, and let out your emotions more because that’s not something that comes easy for you. So talk to me about what you had to do to move in that direction because you’re not the only guy that has had that issue or has that issue. But what did you have to do to start moving down that path?
Quentarious Jones [00:12:25]:
I think step number 1 was first kinda just looking in the mirror and saying, this isn’t healthy for you. It’s not healthy for you to bottle up your emotions and not express yourself when you feel certain emotions because something that I learned in life is that God gives us emotions. And so it’s not about trying to suppress the emotions all the time. It’s about learning how to navigate the emotions and express them in the proper way. And so that’s one of the things that I first had to come to grips with is, hey. This isn’t healthy for you, and it’s not gonna be good for your daughters if you’re not fully engaged or with your emotions in a way to where you can properly understand them, navigate them, and then help them because they’re gonna have emotions. And as they’re navigating through life as they’re growing, they they wanna know, okay. So how when I feel this way, if I’m angry, how to not, okay, hit someone when I’m angry or when I’m happy, how to be happy and to express being happy, like, with my smile, with my joy.
Quentarious Jones [00:13:26]:
I, you know, I wanna express these things in a proper way. And so that was one way. The first thing that I had to do was just come to grips with myself to say, hey. We wanna be healthy. And then and then using that, just it kinda sounds weird, but practicing it with my family. Right? So practicing that every single day, being intentional about when I feel a certain way, being honest with it. Like, for example, I shared earlier when we was going through the time with her going to school, it was frustrating to have so many mornings where you would think that I’m doing everything right. I’m getting up earlier.
Quentarious Jones [00:14:03]:
Sometimes we’ll play, like, jingles in the morning to kinda get the emotions going, and then we still get to these moments where, okay, we were running late to school or it was just like a tantrum that morning. And so I had to understand that, okay, every single day is a day of practice, and it gives me an opportunity to continue to work on, hey, how can we navigate these emotions here? And so that’s kind of how I did that.
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:14:27]:
But me, I had to do a lot of going back in digging up my past. I had a very hard dad. I mean, this man was like Joe Jackson times 10. He, you couldn’t. Oh Lord. So with that, I love my dad. I love him. He was a great father.
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:14:48]:
But with that, I wasn’t allowed to show emotion. And he never verbally said it, but that’s pretty much how I took it. And so I would bottle things up and I would bottle things up. And so what I had to do was I had to learn that it’s okay to show emotion. It’s okay to cry. You know, a lot of, mirror. Yeah. I’m I’m a hard man.
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:15:09]:
No, like cry. It’s okay. Like, and so able to learn how to allow my emotions to flow. Then I was better able to empathize with my wife, empathize with my girls. Okay. I know how this would make me feel so I can understand the emotion that you feel right now. Or even if I can’t understand it, I at least empathize that you have this emotion right now. And so I’m going to do my best to respect that and honor that.
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:15:38]:
And so once I was able to unpack a lot of that stuff, and that helped me to flow better with dealing with my, you know, my my girls and my wife and things of that nature.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:15:47]:
Now the 2 of you have known each other for a long time And the 2 of you came together just a little while back and came together to create a podcast. And I mentioned this at the beginning of the show today, the not your average girl dad podcast. Talk to me about the genesis story of this and why the 2 of you decided that you wanted to come together to have these conversations.
Quentarious Jones [00:16:09]:
So it was birth from just Roski and I I’m caller Roski. We so we met in college. We we we went to Albany State University in Albany, Georgia. It’s like we were meant to be bros. It was just meant to be. He he used to work at, the Subway on campus. And E fresh. And he used to sing these jingles.
Quentarious Jones [00:16:34]:
He had this jingle. Every time he came in, you knew you would get a laugh and you’d get a great sub from Roski. And so we bonded on campus. We became really good friends. We was also attending the same church at the time. And from there we find out that we had some very common interests. And one of the interests that bonded us is like Christian hip hop. And so we became really tight about about that.
Quentarious Jones [00:17:00]:
And from there, we just became really great friends. So how do we get to the podcast? As we continued our friendship throughout the years, we will always have these amazing conversations on the phone. It’s not the goal. Like we would call each other for something quick. Like, Hey bro, I just wanna call you. See, did you hear the new new song that dropped by Lecrae or the new song from Swoop or the new song from KB? And so we would just talk about the music, but from that conversation, we would end up just talking about life and just talking about what we’re learning as husbands and what we’re learning in ministry. And then, eventually as he expounded, we’re learning as dads. And so we share these long conversations and we’d be on the phone like 2 hours.
Quentarious Jones [00:17:41]:
And then one day we was just like, I don’t know. What do we just take our conversation to a podcast? And one day I just was I was driving down the road and he made a song. We made a song about this. And we was like, I was driving down the road, and then in the middle of prayer, it just hit me. The idea is just like, okay, let’s start a podcast. And then we’ll just take our conversations to the mic and we’ll share our experiences and share different principles that we’ve learned and that we are learning as fathers, as husbands, as men in leadership and ministry, and just share those experiences as we continue this journey.
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:18:16]:
You pretty much summed it up. By all the thing, I guess what I would add was just me and Terry was really close. He became more than a friend of me. He became my brother. And so like I said, it was literally one day he was driving down the road in middle of prayer. And then he called me, he said, Hey, the Lord put it in my heart. Let’s start a podcast. We didn’t know it was going to be not your average girl at, but it was, he’s like, let’s just start a podcast.
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:18:37]:
Let’s just share our conversation. And I said, okay. And so one of the things that I told them, I’m like, I’m not very business savvy, so I’ll do what I can. But his main thing was like I said, the great content, the subject matter. And we knew that we could be a blessing to other girl dads or inspired fathers or dads period. Even you’re not a girl that just dad periods or just father figures. We just wanted to put something out there to let the people know that you’re doing a great job today and time is always about the negativity. It’s all about what people aren’t doing.
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:19:08]:
So we wanted to put some out there to let them know you’re doing a great job. If you’re showing up, that’s half the battle right there. You’re doing a great job. So that was the idea. And then I got an opportunity to use my creative juices. I sing, I rap, I, I write. And so I used to do jingles and that was one of the things that really connected us. He would come to subway and I’m like, subway, eat fresh, you know, welcome to subway.
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:19:37]:
Eat fresh. Like there was always like this larger than life moment when you came in the subway. So I was like, this is an opportunity for me to employ some of my skills. So I had to say yes.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:19:49]:
So as you’ve gone along this journey, you put out some different episodes, talked about a lot of topics, some lighthearted, some heavier in nature. You know, I know that, Demetrius, you talked about at the beginning that it took you guys a long time to have your first child, and you talk about that in one of your episodes as well. So I guess in the conversations that you did have in the shows that you’ve put out thus far, what is your hope? What are you hoping that people are taking away from the message that you’re sharing?
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:20:19]:
Well, my hope for me is with God, all things are possible. Our conversation is always centered around God. And actually one of my favorite episodes was that story about us having a hard time because we went through a lot and that’s in life. Things are going to always be handed on the silver platter. You’re going to have to work hard and you know, there’s going to be ups. It’s gonna be a lot of ups. It’s gonna be a lot of downs. But if you keep your trust in God, that if he promised you something, it’s going to come to pass.
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:20:48]:
So that’s the main thing I would say is just that keep your trust in God and just know that with God, all things are possible and things are gonna always get better. And that’s one of the many things that I would pray that somebody picks up from hearing us.
Quentarious Jones [00:21:04]:
I would like for people to pick up or like for those listeners to pick up. Everything happens for a reason. We don’t always understand what that reason can be, but as long as you have, in my opinion, faith, family, and the fundamentals of life always help you keep the right perspective even in the toughest times of your life. Because with Roski and his family, I believe when that was going on for them, and I I think I shared this with him, is that my wife and I, we experienced a miscarriage at one point before Kalani was born. And this was before he and his wife went down the path of experiencing their journey. And when we went through that, it was like an opportunity for me to share with him. Hey. If God has promised you something that is gonna come to pass.
Quentarious Jones [00:21:57]:
And at that time, I’m not thinking that, hey, this is gonna be something that Rosie’s going through or someone else, but you learn that everything happens for a reason. Even some of the things that can bring us disappointment, some of the situations that can bring us some hurt, some pain. But in some of that hurt, that pain, you can still receive joy. He can replace your morning into dancing and, you know, your darkness into light. And so I just want listeners and those that come to the podcast or come to hear anything from us to know that God is consistently good and that if you maintain your faith, always trust in the fact that he is good and that he knows best, that all things will work together for your good.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:22:40]:
So talk to me about the future of the podcast. I know it’s been a little bit of time since you last posted, but what’s gonna be coming in the future?
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:22:46]:
We have season 2 coming really soon. We’re working on it. We’re recording, doing episodes. We have music videos coming soon, promos. We’re, reaching out to start, doing speaking gigs, the whole 9 yard. But I guess in immediate future, definitely season 2, and we have a excited video coming. It’s going to just once again, highlight all the fathers out there. We want to give you your flowers while you’re still here on this side of heaven.
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:23:21]:
So, it’s exciting. And it’s not just his biological dads, father figures, coaches, teachers, mentors. If you just been just a mentor to anybody, we wanna say thank you, and we love you and keep doing what you were called to do.
Quentarious Jones [00:23:37]:
Gearing up for season 2 and gearing up to put out that video, which and that song, which highlights just the amazing work that dads around the world are doing. And I think Roski said it earlier, in a society that is can be very critical, so much negativity that goes on or that is said, especially towards men and fathers and husbands and what we’re not doing. But let’s highlight, the good that is going on because there are great dads out in the world. There are great mentors and fathers that are investing in the next generation to help build a better society. Uplift, and that that’s our goal for the future is this can continue to promote faith, family, and fundamentals of life, and, hopefully, it continues to inspire the next generation.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:24]:
Now we always finish our interviews with what I like to call our fatherhood 5, where I ask you 5 more questions to delve deeper into you as a dad. Are you ready?
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:24:31]:
Let’s go. Ready.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:33]:
In one word, what is fatherhood?
Quentarious Jones [00:24:35]:
Commitment. Sacrifice.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:36]:
When was the time that you finally felt like you succeeded at being a father to a daughter?
Quentarious Jones [00:24:41]:
I haven’t felt that yet. But sometimes I felt like I’ve succeeded getting them to school on time with no crying.
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:24:50]:
When I was able to watch all 3 of my girls and not have to call my wife once while she was out.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:24:56]:
Now if I was to talk to your kids, how would they describe you as a dad?
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:24:59]:
Talk to my oldest one. But, she always tells me that she loves me. I recently went to go read to her class for it’s, national readings month. And I went to go read their class. And as soon as I walked through the door, she had the biggest Kool Aid smile and it just won my heart. So I don’t think she say I’m a pretty good dude.
Quentarious Jones [00:25:17]:
I would say I believe they would both call me the best dad in the world. And the reason they call me the best dad in the world is because they say I give them everything. They say when we ask mommy, she always say, no, ma’am. No ham, no turkey. But when we go to daddy, he’s gonna give us everything we want. So, yeah. So I would be probably the best dad in the world.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:25:36]:
So Now who inspires you to be a better dad?
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:25:38]:
It’s a lot of people. My pastor, my dad. I know growing up with a father, I never envisioned nothing else. That’s what I saw. I was gonna be married. I was gonna have kids. I was gonna be a part of their life. So it’s a it’s a lot of people, but definitely my dad and my pastor.
Quentarious Jones [00:25:53]:
For me, I would say my pastor. I would also say a lot of the men in the church community where I serve just seeing a lot of great examples of many different type of dads, from many different backgrounds and experiences. My story was a little bit different from Roskis because I didn’t have a relationship with my dad early on in my life until I became a teenager, so until I was, like, 15 years old. And so we have an amazing relationship now. But that first few years of my life was always kinda searching for the perfect father figure or someone who could help lead me in those critical times of my life. And I had a great mentor, and I still talk to him. We’re still great to this day. Those would be my inspirations.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:26:41]:
Now both of you have given a number of pieces of advice today, things that everyone should be thinking about. As we finish up today, what’s one piece of advice you wanna give to every day?
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:26:50]:
Continue to show up. You’re not going to always know what to do. You’re not going to always have the answer, but when you show up, it shows that number 1, you care and you’re willing to learn.
Quentarious Jones [00:27:01]:
My advice is to don’t be so hard on yourself because everything is a learning experience. You’re always gonna be learning something new about yourself and about your kids. If you’re married, you’re about your spouse. It’s always an evolving door or phase of life where you’re always in a a constant state of learning. And so as long as you wanna continue to have the mindset to be a student, I’m a say student of the game of life or student of the game of being a husband, being a father, just being a leader, you’re always gonna learn something new. And as long as you have the right posture, you can receive those benefits. So just always have a a student part.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:27:38]:
Now if people wanna find out more about the 2 of you, about the podcast, where should they go?
Quentarious Jones [00:27:43]:
So we’re on social media, so they can go to Instagram, TikTok, threads, x, you formerly known as Twitter. So you can find us even on Facebook. So you can find us at nyagd_tribe. So that’s nyagd_tribe.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:04]:
And we’ll put links in the notes today so everybody can find that. Guys, I just wanna say thank you. Demetrius, Quinterius, thanks so much for being here today. Wish you all the best, and good luck on this journey that both of you are on to raise those amazing daughters that you wanna raise.
Demetrius Roe Jones [00:28:19]:
Thank you for having us once again. We’re it was an honor and a privilege.
Quentarious Jones [00:28:22]:
Yes. Thank you so much.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:28:23]:
If you’ve enjoyed today’s episode of the dads with daughters podcast, we invite you to check out the fatherhood insider. The fatherhood insider is the essential resource for any dad that wants to be the best dad that he can be. We know that no child comes with an instruction manual and most dads are figuring it out as they go along, and the fatherhood insider is full of resources and information that will up your game on fatherhood. Through our extensive course library, interactive forum, step by step roadmaps, and more, you will engage and learn with experts, but more importantly, dads like you. So check it out at fathering together.org. If you are a father of a daughter and have not yet joined the dads with daughters Facebook community, there’s a link in the notes today. Dads with daughters is a program of fathering together. We look forward to having you back for another great guest next week all geared to helping you raise strong empowered daughters and be the best dad that you can be.
Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:29:21]:
We’re all in the same boat, and it’s full of tiny screaming passengers. We spend the time, we give the lessons, We make the meals. We buy them presents and bring your a game. Because those kids are growing fast, the time goes by just like a dynamite blast, calling astronauts and firemen, carpenters, and musclemen. Get out and be the world to them. Dad you can be.
